Sometimes,
people don’t show up when you want them to. Rather than fight Him over that,
God taught me that He is the One who puts each of His children where they
should be, including me. He uses others alongside of me—but He is in charge,
not me. My job is not to worry who is going with me, or what part they are
playing, but just to obey.
On Sunday,
when Carmen came to church with me, I asked her to meet me for dinner on
Wednesday night, to discuss whatever information I had been able to get from
the safe house directors. We agreed to meet in front of TeleMicro, the building
just down the street from my apartment that is used for filming soap operas and
other Dominican TV shows.
Lidisset had
recommended that I introduce Carmen to Vicky, a psychologist who attends our
church. I had never met Vicky, but I agreed that it could be good for Carmen to
speak with a counselor—or at the very least, another Dominican woman.
An hour
before I left the house, I messaged Vicky to re-confirm our plans. She didn’t
reply. Instead, Vicky’s daughter left a brief note to say she had her mom’s
cell phone, and she would give the message to her later.
But is Vicky coming? I asked.
No reply.
I messaged
Viola, my spiritual mom in the D.R., to pray, at 6:52PM:
Viola please be in warfare
prayer tonight
Please pray for Christ's light to shine in the darkness of the red light "districts" of Santo Domingo and for chains to be broken tonight! Pray for freedom to be chosen and doors to be open to start new lives in Christ!
“For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy,
Now I will arise,” says the Lord;
“I will set him in the safety for which he yearns.”
Psalm 12:5
A lady from my church and I are meeting Carmen for dinner. We need her to let go of anything that's holding her back and choose Jesus, and choose to go to a safe house, and we need every barrier to disappear in Jesus' name.
Please pray for Christ's light to shine in the darkness of the red light "districts" of Santo Domingo and for chains to be broken tonight! Pray for freedom to be chosen and doors to be open to start new lives in Christ!
“For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy,
Now I will arise,” says the Lord;
“I will set him in the safety for which he yearns.”
Psalm 12:5
A lady from my church and I are meeting Carmen for dinner. We need her to let go of anything that's holding her back and choose Jesus, and choose to go to a safe house, and we need every barrier to disappear in Jesus' name.
I waited. No response from
Vicky or Viola. (Later, Viola would tell me she prayed as soon as she saw the message).
At 7:25PM,
I still hadn’t heard back from Vicky. I decided to go anyway.
Carmen was
waiting for me on the dark, unlit side of the building where Ale’s dad is the
security guard. We decided to wait where Vicky said she would meet us.
We waited
15 minutes. All the while I had that uncomfortable, now familiar feeling of
guilt, because I had gotten there a bit late myself; fear, because I didn’t
know if she had been there already and had left; and confusion, because I
wasn’t sure how long to wait.
Worried, I
started to message and call several people from church, in search of Vicky’s
phone number. I called two different numbers, to no avail.
This was
the first time I had actually succeeded in meeting Carmen anywhere. She had
actually shown up, unlike the times I had invited her to church. Here she was,
and now I didn’t want it to fall through. I knew I could just go on without
Vicky, if she didn’t show upu. But I felt, like what Lidy had said was true:
I shouldn’t do this alone.
But, I
wasn’t alone. I am never alone.
It seems
ridiculous now, but I remember thinking,
Carmen might still think I’m lesbian, and that
Vicky never planned on going, and I just made this up to take her out to
dinner.
It wasn’t
an unlikely story. After all, these were the streets Carmen walked. These
people knew how she made a living. So why else would a foreigner like me want
to spend time with her?
Every time
someone in the street said something to that effect, I would cringe. It was a
reminder of just how much Carmen had been objectified. Even simple gestures of
goodwill were interpreted through the lens of a transaction, of lust, of
consumption. It cut me to think that a 15-year-old would already view the world
in such a deeply cynical way.
I had my
Bible in my purse, and I had a vague idea that I wanted to use it. I didn’t
know exactly how, though, because I had assumed Vicky would be taking the lead.
She is a psychologist, and what am I? I know
Jesus, but I’ve never done this before, I reasoned.
I checked
the clock on my phone for what seemed like the thousandth time.
Cut.
Carmen and I are friends. We can act
like friends. I need to stop worrying. Jesus is enough for me.
Relaxing a
bit, I decided to share the story of my brother David. I shared how much I
loved him, and how it was so hard to see him make wrong choices. I recounted
how much I cried when he threatened suicide,
the letters I wrote to him, and how I learned how to love. I told her
that in the end, God got David’s attention when he was in a different
environment—even though he hated it at first! If he had stayed home with all
the “friends” who had “helped” him enter the world of anger, lust, drugs, and
alcohol—it would have been harder to hear God’s voice. God can deliver
anywhere, but sometimes we won’t listen to Him in our old environments.
Sometimes we need a new environment.
I brought
all this up, because I wanted Carmen to think seriously about what a move to a
safe house would entail. I wasn’t sure her mind had wrapped around what that
meant. I wanted her to know that it would be a big change, that could be very
positive but also very difficult at first—so she could make an informed
decision.
Carmen
seemed to agree with me that yes, a change of environment would be very
important.
I told her
the safe house would be more school than work for her right now, because she is
so young.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes! That is exactly what I want, to be able to go to school again, and learn
to read!”
A hunger
for living had grasped her again—for learning and finding new opportunities.
Even now as I write, I smile to think of the change from just a few weeks
earlier. My heart had broken for her so many times, in times of desperate
intercession, and compassion from the Holy Spirit. Yet now it leapt with joy to
hear her begin to hope again.
As much as
I wanted to take her straight to the safe house right then, I couldn’t. Erica
had told me we would have to wait to hear back from Conani, the Dominican
children’s services agency, since Carmen was a minor.
“I can’t
make any guarantees,” I told Carmen. “But we are doing what we can, and praying
hard for God to intervene, for the door to open.”
45 minutes
had passed, sitting and talking in front of TeleMicro. It was clear that Vicky
was not showing up.
Finally, I
shook off my worry and embraced the task at hand. It didn’t matter where Vicky
was. Carmen and I were here, and I knew God would be with me.
“I’m
hungry! Let’s get something to eat.” I said.
We headed
down the Conde, the pedestrian street in the touristy, colonial part of the
city. Even at night, tourist police keep visitors to the Conde in relative
safety.
I asked Carmen
what kind of food she preferred, but she would not voice any preference. Finally, I
chose an outdoor café at the end of the Conde, near the first Cathedral in the
New World, built by the first Spanish settlers.
While we
waited for our sandwiches to come, I made conversation with Carmen. At some
point, something inside of me woke up:
Vicky’s not here. So speak the only words of
healing and hope you know how to speak.
At some
point, Carmen had attended church. She had heard of Jesus. Yet I sensed that
what could keep her from turning to Jesus, and from taking the hope He offered
her through the safe house, was the same feeling of unworthiness that caused
the prodigal son to cry out, in spite of his father’s tearful, affectionate
embrace,
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your
sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.”
But the Father would never turn away His children. His
love is far greater than we can imagine. As I rehearsed the story of the
prodigal son, Carmen told me,
“I know that story! I love that story.”
The couples at the tables surrounding us could hear as
the Gospel story unfolded. I had not planned to share the Gospel with Carmen
tonight, but the Holy Spirit put His peace in my heart, and His words in my
mouth.
I wasn’t a psychologist that night. The psychologist
didn’t show up. But I was all God wanted me to be: His child. I was the little
girl of God, just trying to communicate a fraction of His love to Carmen:
“Oh Carmen, if you could only understand His love!
He’s not ashamed of you. You’re His daughter.”
We talked about what it
means to be sons and daughters of God, and how we can't ever deserve His love,
and how He is not like our earthly fathers. We talked about how Jesus Christ
broke our chains and redeemed us from slavery to sonship... a concept she told
me she had never quite understood, even though she had attended church before.
We would always pray
together at the end of our conversations. But this time it was Carmen, not me,
who asked if we could pray.
So yet
again, I took Carmen’s hands and prayed for her. As I think back to that
moment, I echo the words of Paul in Ephesians 3:14-18,
“When I think of all this, I fall to
my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on
earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you
with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your
hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep
you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people
should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.”
I hope that as you
read, your heart cries the same prayer for Carmen and many other minor victims
of trafficking and prostitution in the Dominican Republic. Only God’s love can
heal their broken hearts and restore what the enemy has tried to steal, kill,
and destroy. Jesus has come to give us new life! Please claim that for these
precious children!
That night, my heart
filled with hope that night as I realized it was Carmen, not me, who was asking
about finding a job, and if I had heard anything about it yet. I was honest with
her that I didn't know how it would work out, but we were going to trust God together
that it would.
Little did I know the
battle that would unfold over the next two weeks. Yet, I chose to hope. I still
choose to hope. I wish I could say Carmen accepted Christ’s love for her that
night. But what I can say is that there is power in the Name of Jesus to break
every chain! It’s not my power that breaks the chains, it’s all His—that in all
things He might have the preeminence.
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