Chapter 4: Another Chance

The next day, I went running with my roommate. I saw Carmen again. She was wearing the same bright-yellow, elastic dress. This time, I asked her if she wanted to walk with us, but she said no, because she is 5 months pregnant, but she is still working anyway. 

Oh, my God.

My stomach churned at the thought that she was risking her life, and the life inside her, every day...and that anyone would consider taking advantage of a child in that way. 

I wanted to slap myself for not realizing the first time that she was pregnant. It seemed obvious now, but the thought had never crossed my mind the day before.

She told me the baby was a girl, and she would name her after her mom. She said she had been to the doctor and everything was going well.

She told me her age again—16. That wasn’t what she had told me the day before. She laughed, and explained that she tells some people she is 17 so she won’t get in trouble. She told me about how she used to go to a nearby church, and how she stopped going to school a few years ago.

I asked her what she thought about God.

“He takes care of me,” she said.

“Exactly,” I answered. I knew she just needed a friend, so I didn’t throw stones.

But she let me pray for her again, so I prayed for her to know the God who truly will provide for all her needs. The God she can trust with the unknown—even the 500 pesos (around $13) she needed to earn just to get by every day. If she didn’t pay her landlord 150 pesos every day, she could be evicted from her apartment, she explained.

The fear in her voice stood in contrast with the simple statement of faith she had made seconds earlier.

Back in my apartment, tears filled my eyes as I wrote in my journal:

God, I saw Carmen Raquel again today on the malecón, “trabajando.” Only 16 years old. Oh, God. I can’t imagine that she’s 5 months pregnant. She can’t either. She still has no idea what it means.

She spent Saturday night in the Hotel Jaragua because un tipo (a guy) was paying for it.

Oh, God. She’s too young. Oh, God.

She says she knows You and it’s true, she knows all about You. She says it but she doesn’t really know you because she says You are the One who takes care of us, but then later that she has to work like this to live.

God it’s a lie.

You really are who You say You are and You won’t abandon her if she leaves this life. She has so much potential. God don’t let her have any more “success” in that way of life. God show her again through other obedient children who speak Your mercy and love and truth, that she has so much ahead of her if she will follow You, if she will let You get inside and heal her wounds, if she will stop living like she is for sale to anyone who has money. God, You bought her and she is precious in Your eyes. Don’t let her ever forget that. Oh God, make her new.

God please give me another chance to see her, and if it is Your will we will meet and study the Bible together.

God, I know it was You that sent me there to talk and pray with her yesterday. I knew it already, but I knew it even more when she said it—“Dios te mandó aquí—God sent you here.”

God, may I always be abiding in You and willing to do as You say, being led always by Your Spirit so that You bear much fruit in me. And may I never, ever seek a crown or approval. Todo sea siempre para Ti, y para tu gloria! May everything always be for You, and for Your glory!

Amen and amen.

Three days later, I wrote in my journal again.

My heart, it rests secure in You, God.

Put me anywhere, just put Your glory in me.

I’ll serve anywhere, just let me see Your beauty.

Todo es de mi Cristo, de Él y para Él. (Everything is from my Christ, from Him and for Him. )

All is for Your glory, that in all things You might have preeminence!

Dios, estoy en Tus manos. No sé qué viene después. Pero sé que será para Tu gloria. (God, I am in Your hands. I don’t know what comes next. But I know that it will be for Your glory.)

Y yo confío en Ti. (And I trust in You.)

Descanso.(I rest.)

Guíame con Tu mano. (Guide me with Your hand).

Abre puertas y caminos. (Open doors and paths).

Haz tu obra, have Your way.

Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing!

I remember still feeling restless, isolated from true community, and worried about whether I would come back to the D.R. The situation with Carmen made me feel like my time there was just beginning, but the calendar showed September 12, in a year abroad that would end on December 18.

My Dominican friend Lidisset encouraged me:

mana descansa en DIOS te trajo y te dio un proyecto cuando se lo pediste te dara otro

(Sister, rest in GOD. He brought you and gave you a project when you asked Him to. He will give you another.)

quizas te toque un tiempo con familia y ver despues

(Maybe you will spend some time with your family and see what happens afterwards.)

The next week, God did give me another chance to see Carmen.

This time, I invited her to church.

“Meet me at the park on Sunday night,” I said. She said she would.

“I will wait for you.”